The imagination is the canvas upon which we paint the stories of our lives before we share it with the world.
But inspiration is often not enough.
To be inspired to create for public consumption requires more than having the tools and materials for creation. There must be a clear vision for what, why, when and how, especially the ‘how’.
It’s like being provided with all the materials to build a grand palace with no blueprint or funds or skills or time to get it all done. Such is the path of the indie-publisher.
I’ve been on this path for many years now, many of which were spent learning the ‘how’ at the expense of the ‘what’ and the ‘when’ and it’s during the mental gymnastics of budgeting for expenses and time that inspiration fades into the background. Reality can be the death of creativity if one becomes burdened by the practicalities of the craft.
Then there is the stigma attached to independent publishing. Bookstores don’t stock indie-published books unless the author has a considerable following or is influential enough to attract the attention of a large traditional publisher and nothing breeds contempt in the literary world than an author whose books never make it into brick-and-mortar stores. Tell someone you’ve published a book and the first thing they ask is “which store?” Not even having one’s book in the online depository of the same stores will earn you a nod of impressed acknowledgement.
To add to this reservoir of mental anguish is the expectation of a vibrant social media presence. Too bad if one is an introvert or an ambivert whose skin crawls at the thought of slathering oneself all over the internet, dripping into everyone’s feed and choking them with images of one’s book and several photos of oneself sporting a curated Duchenne smile.
I’m not a social media person. I prefer the face-to-face approach. I have a mental block when it comes to even thinking about talking to a camera. It feels so unnatural, so uninspiring. I suppose this is how actors who have to act with a green screen or facing a green tennis ball must feel.
As humans, we respond to the facial cues on the faces of the people with whom we’re interacting. One simply cannot do that with a camera even if there are people on the other side. Well, at least I can’t. Add all of this to the fact that I am a consummate perfectionist when it comes to anything that I’m doing, thus making me one of my own worst enemies.
I envy (not in a negative way) those of us who do not obsess over every aspect of the content that they produce. That confidence has eluded me for the greater part of my life and if it’s one thing I wish I can take from the younger generations, it’s how they take to social media like a duck to water.
These are not excuses. Consider it an emptying of a cluttered mind – a purge – if you will. My reasoning is, if I can use my blogs here and on ixorapress.com as a way of ‘spring cleaning’ my mind, perhaps then I would have more room for inspiration, and I wouldn’t feel daunted by all the extras. I wouldn’t feel like I’m abandoning all the stories I wish to tell.
A school here in Trinidad offers a social media course for those of us who are tentatively testing the waters. That might be an idea.
What do you think?
Reshma Mituram 