Life will be disappointing and exciting and vexing, and it will knock you over and trample you. There are days when you’ll wonder if you’re living a version of Sisyphus’ curse to keep rolling that boulder up the mountain without the ability or the willpower to stop. There will be good moments in life too – the ones you hold on to for dear life in those days when everything you do or try to create or build falls apart before you get a chance to see if it will turn out the way you imagined. Those good times, combine to become a life raft in stormy seas.
Life doesn’t go according to your plans. You may find that every plan you make in life will cause you to crash and burn or they’ll just fizzle out like expired fireworks. You’ll just have to rise out of the ashes and plan again, try again.
Time will run out on you before you get a chance to complete all that you set out to do. It always does. There is always more to do. Tasks keep piling up and time keeps slipping away. You cannot control time, but you can control what you do with it. When it comes to the end, that’s it. Don’t mourn what you didn’t do or what you didn’t have time to do, clock out, turn off the lights, lock the door and leave. You’ve done all that you could with the time you had.
Trust your own built-in GPS. They’re called instincts. Don’t let yourself be guilt-tripped or bullied into choosing someone else’s plan even if they come off as being more experienced than you. When things fall apart they’ll use it against you. Graciously accept their offer of advice but feel no guilt in going with your own instincts.
You don’t owe anyone anything except whatever debt you need to repay. Once you’ve paid in full, that’s it. You’re not obligated to them for your entire lifetime. Don’t let someone’s one-time show of kindness become your shackles. Pay them back in cash or in kind and move on. Sounds ungrateful? Perhaps. But there is kindness and then there is true kindness. There is performative kindness and then there is the kindness from those who simply wish to alleviate, if only temporary, the misery of one’s fellow human being. Looking back through your life, I’m sure you can figure out which is which.
You’re excellent at reading people. You can smell their bullshit from a mile away. Again, trust your instincts and do not let anyone convince you that a wolf in sheep’s clothing is anything but. You know you’re always right, especially when YOU are the one who ends up having to deal with them.
Tradition isn’t supposed to be painful or hurtful. It should never strip you of your individuality or break you down to fit someone else’s expectations. Tradition is not an excuse to deny anyone their human rights.
Respect is earned, not given because it’s demanded. Do not let anyone demand respect from you when all they’ve ever offered was disrespect and cruelty. Elders in society need to learn this as well (see above note on Tradition). You get what you give.
There will always be people who will project their own insecurities and fears onto you and they will come at you from all aspects of your life; colleagues, friends, relatives, classmates, teachers, strangers and family members. Take note of their words, see the words for what they are and what they represent, then let it all go. This is not your cross to bear. You’ll have enough of your own burdens. Don’t take on someone else’s.
Don’t apologize for who you are. You’re not made from scrap material and assembled in some junk yard, although it may feel like that sometimes. You’re made of your own unique metal and have been put through the hottest fires to become what you are.
Give your angels and demons equal ear time. Listen to all of them equally. The angels will lead you to the path you must follow, and the demons will sharpen your edges.
Not everyone in this world is a waste of oxygen. There are good people in this world too. You’ve met some of them.
Bare your teeth and growl. It keeps the vultures and hyenas away.
Pick your battles. Don’t waste energy on skirmishes. If it’s of no benefit to you or the greater good, then it’s not worth your time. Don’t fight in someone else’s battle. They’re certainly not going to do the same for you. You know this from experience so STOP DOING IT.
You won’t be everyone’s cup of tea or glass of champagne. Some might even equate you to a pool of stagnant water. It is what it is. Move along.
Never beg for anything. Don’t give anyone that kind of power over you. Once you give it away, it takes a long time to get it back – if you ever do.
This is not a race you’re running. It’s a marathon. There are no rules except the rules you set yourself. You can jog, sprint, walk, shimmy, shuffle, glide or just sit by the wayside for a bit of rest. The finish line will still be there when you’re done.
(Mood photo created by AI)
Reshma Mituram 